I get it!

Let me tell you my story…

I grew up in an immigrant family, you know, the typical story. Poor, parents who hustled to make ends meet, language barrier, racism, latch key kids, parents who didn’t really parent… 

On the outside, my family looked fine. Working father, stay-at-home mom, obedient kids who excelled in school and played piano (haha, had to add that in). 

In my family, I knew from a young age to look perfect on the outside, and hold secrets, as to not bring shame to the family. (Good thing my parents will probably never read this.)

But on the inside, secrets brewed. My parents fought incessantly. They bickered about big and small things, and discussions often escalated into full blown fights. 

There were never repairs, remorse, or apologies. Instead, they would be silent, focus on running the household, and avoid each other…until the next round. 

What I remember most is my parents often taking out their stress and conflicts on the 6 kids, especially on me and my middle sister. In those days, shaming and hitting your kids was accepted as “discipline” (B.S.). Today, it would be called what it is, bonafide abuse. 

This ongoing trauma (not that I knew it was trauma at the time) of witnessing violence, absorbing angry conflicts, holding secrets about my parents marriage and divorce and my father’s infidelity, being abandoned by my father, and enduring physical and emotional abuse left a permanent imprint on my life and all subsequent relationships.

My self-esteem was non-existent. I suffered from childhood depression and anxiety without knowing it (until I was an adult). I felt constant shame, insecurity, and loneliness. 

My relationships were unhealthy. With friendships, I often chose friends who were controlling, demanding, and overbearing (like my mother). I knew how to obey and follow. In romantic relationships, I gravitated towards unhealthy and emotionally unavailable men (like my father). Basically, I repeated what was familiar.

I knew there had to be a better way.

Because living like this sucked.

In 1995, I decided to become a therapist. For the next 25 years, I would study everything under the sun about relationships, attachment, family of origin, trauma, childhood development, and neuropsychology.    

The result, I learned to break free of the intergenerational trauma cycle of abuse, relationship dysfunction, infidelity, and marital discord. 

I ended up creating my own system and approach, incorporating Eastern philosophy with Western Psychology, to heal intergenerational wounds, repair unhealthy relationships, and build safe and secure lifelong bonds. 

This method has completely transformed my life and the lives of the people I’ve worked with over the past 25 years.

I transformed my relationship with

myself,

my partner,

and my kids.

I learned to trust, feel safe, and build a healthy and happy bond with my husband. We’re still happily married after 25 years (just ask him). 

I have 3 (almost) adult children who I consider close friends. We talk deeply, and love even deeper.    

I went from feeling insecure, ashamed, and lost to living the life of my dreams. There was so much I was missing and longed for, and I finally had. So grateful and humbled. 

And I know that if I can transform my relationships and life, coming from my background, so can you.

I’m on a mission to give you the support, skills, and knowledge you need to permanently shift your life and relationships for the better.  

You deserve the love, joy, and security of a lifelong supportive relationship.

This is why I created The Relationship Collective to give people like you the support, structure, and community I wish I had when going through my healing journey. 

Since this time, my work has helped a multitude of people, just like you, achieve the relationship of their dreams.

Remember, no pain is ever wasted.

About Dr. Gloria Lee

Psychologist, Author, & Educator

Dr. Gloria Lee is an authority on relationships and attachment. For over 25 years, she has helped thousands of people transform their lives and relationships for good. Her unique approach blends Eastern collectivistic philosophy with Western psychology.

She is a sought out speaker and educator for her relationship method. Dr. Lee is the Clinical Director at Brentwood Counselling Centre in Vancouver, Canada and trainer and supervisor to therapists. She has also served as Professor of Clinical Psychology at the University of British Columbia to graduate students.

Most recently, she authored an award-winning and Amazon bestselling book on relationships, The Kickass Couple: 7 Secrets to Transforming Your Relationship.